Love

In the last few years I believed in love. Before this I didn’t. I found something more relevant and encompassing than any other religion while staring into the abyss. The funny thing was it was all inside of me, already there, I just need to find it and then believe it.

Believe it I did after a lot of self-questioning. I felt more confident than ever before. I gave up my shit career and went to university to do something I wanted to do. Everything started going right for me and I started to feel like I did when I was younger for the first time in years. I had found what I was searching for.

My confidence rose and I began to want a relationship rather than good looking girls for sex. Love found me and my life was complete. I rose up on life’s wheel and took everything on. I discovered that my university course wasn’t for me and left to try and start my own projects that would make me a living. Life became easy and I could achieve anything. My projects failed to bring me the money I was after but undeterred I carried on with them, believing in myself as I did. What I had not reckoned on was fate and destiny however.

I was out with my girlfriend spending money I didn’t really have, not having a care in the world. The fairground ride I was on broke and I began to really fly. My confidence was at unforeseen levels. Then gravity took hold. What went up started to go down. The money ran out. I lost interest in my projects. I couldn’t hold down a job. I took my girlfriend for granted and worst of all – I was stuck living at my parent's house. The girlfriend left as a result and my belief in love hit a wall.

What was important though was that despite all of this and my misunderstanding of love I still believe in it. In fact I believe in it even more. I thought that my bliss would go on forever and dismissed the fact that sometimes you must face that abyss again. When I faced the abyss this time though I was prepared. I knew what to expect and I knew how to deal with it. This time I faced fear head on and fought it with everything I’ve got. I faced this abyss very recently and now I feel I have won some battles. The war is not over but I know I can win. I always win. I will always win because I believe in love. I fear nothing. Out of darkness comes light.

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