Lad Culture
The nineties were the decade of ‘lad culture’. So strong was this concept that the tail end of it is still with us five years into the 21st century. Monthly magazines such as ‘FHM’ and the popular weeklies such as ‘Zoo’ and ‘Nuts’ carry the flag today and it seems that not much has changed.
A life dedicated to tits, lager, kebabs, fights and football distinguish the lad from his peers. “What’s wrong with that?” I hear you say. Well, lad culture has certainly had its place for the pre-pubescent wanting to learn about new experiences. What is worrying are those who are older and still hold onto these values despite surely knowing better. My explanation is a fear of change, a holding onto of youth. I get the feeling that those who won’t let go are paralysed into staying put with their ideas from regular perusal of corporate owned tabloids and television with their messages of hate and fear. Every time I look at the news it is terrorism, war, new laws, less freedom – all for our safety of course. Why don’t they cover things like how peoples attitudes are changing? How we no longer want war, that governments are all corrupt and need de-centralising and how we could easily get rid of almost all poverty and suffering by spending the billions of pounds on ‘defence’ on feeding and clothing the poor of the world instead. Isn’t the news supposed to be THE news as in all of the news and not just things that shit you up and make you think that society is done for? “Shut up, go back to bed. Watch football and binge drink while we get on with fucking you. Your government is in control. You are free to do as we tell you.” No wonder lad culture is still alive and well with its simple uncomplicated pleasures and first mantra of ‘ignorance is bliss’.
What I find most distressing about this cultural movement though is its attitude towards relationships. A second hidden mantra is ‘shag or be gay’. So, while down the local meat market or public house, if you don’t chat up the alcoholic 16 year old who keeps pinching your arse your so-called mates will berate you with cries of “you were well in there. What’s wrong with you, don’t you like women or something?” When this has happened to me I explain that I do like women and I like them enough not to take advantage of them. “You’ll never pull with that attitude” is the usual response. “Good” I say. I’ve tried this sort of behaviour before and ended up ruining other peoples’ relationships and making trips down to the GUM clinic. “So, you not into women then? You must be gay.” By this time I am getting tired of the ignorant comments but in the interest of maintaining a jovial atmosphere I reply with the only answer my appointed sexual-orientation judge won’t be able to reply to: “Yes, you must be right. I’m gay.” Laughs all round and we continue drinking.
I can hear you saying “What’s wrong with uncomplicated mutual sex if I’m using protection and we both know the score?” Well, nothing, but I have found that when you have sex with someone you form a connection unlike any other. You are no longer just friends. Someone’s heart might get broken (and this may not be either of you). Your reputation might suffer. If you become prolific you’ll eventually gain the tag of ‘slag’ which should be as equally off-putting to women as it is to men regarding the opposite sex. This is enough to put me off this kind of behaviour and instead wait for the right girl to come along who wants more than this. Making love is amazing, incredibly special and is not just about basic pleasure. It’s not something to do to impress your mates and make you feel like a bigger person. In reality sex is a tiny part of any relationship. Never forget the miracle of masturbation for relieving those frustrations. It is the safest orgasm around…
‘Girls should be treated as sexual objects’ is the third mantra. What is surprising is that many girls know this and play up to it. There are, of course, girls who also behave like ‘lads’. The reasons for ‘ladettes’ behaving like this are exactly the same as their male counterparts. So, who is to blame? Men or women? This debate rages in various different forms on daytime TV everyday. “Who is to blame for the way my life is turning out? Who is the enemy? Aaaarghhhh, someone’s trying to get me, trying to fuck up my life!” Excellent - paranoia - the mainstay of a totalitarian government. Keep the masses confused and scared and we have control of them. Lets keep them occupied with sports and cheap titillation while we steal oil.
To those who practice lad culture – both men and women – I say this: its time to mature and evolve. We really all want a healthy, strong relationship with someone we love. When there are people who go around trying to fuck anything that comes near them without thinking of the consequences of their actions we have a problem. Break free of your shackles and be your true self. Ignore the shit that is fed to you by the media and make this your own world.
A life dedicated to tits, lager, kebabs, fights and football distinguish the lad from his peers. “What’s wrong with that?” I hear you say. Well, lad culture has certainly had its place for the pre-pubescent wanting to learn about new experiences. What is worrying are those who are older and still hold onto these values despite surely knowing better. My explanation is a fear of change, a holding onto of youth. I get the feeling that those who won’t let go are paralysed into staying put with their ideas from regular perusal of corporate owned tabloids and television with their messages of hate and fear. Every time I look at the news it is terrorism, war, new laws, less freedom – all for our safety of course. Why don’t they cover things like how peoples attitudes are changing? How we no longer want war, that governments are all corrupt and need de-centralising and how we could easily get rid of almost all poverty and suffering by spending the billions of pounds on ‘defence’ on feeding and clothing the poor of the world instead. Isn’t the news supposed to be THE news as in all of the news and not just things that shit you up and make you think that society is done for? “Shut up, go back to bed. Watch football and binge drink while we get on with fucking you. Your government is in control. You are free to do as we tell you.” No wonder lad culture is still alive and well with its simple uncomplicated pleasures and first mantra of ‘ignorance is bliss’.
What I find most distressing about this cultural movement though is its attitude towards relationships. A second hidden mantra is ‘shag or be gay’. So, while down the local meat market or public house, if you don’t chat up the alcoholic 16 year old who keeps pinching your arse your so-called mates will berate you with cries of “you were well in there. What’s wrong with you, don’t you like women or something?” When this has happened to me I explain that I do like women and I like them enough not to take advantage of them. “You’ll never pull with that attitude” is the usual response. “Good” I say. I’ve tried this sort of behaviour before and ended up ruining other peoples’ relationships and making trips down to the GUM clinic. “So, you not into women then? You must be gay.” By this time I am getting tired of the ignorant comments but in the interest of maintaining a jovial atmosphere I reply with the only answer my appointed sexual-orientation judge won’t be able to reply to: “Yes, you must be right. I’m gay.” Laughs all round and we continue drinking.
I can hear you saying “What’s wrong with uncomplicated mutual sex if I’m using protection and we both know the score?” Well, nothing, but I have found that when you have sex with someone you form a connection unlike any other. You are no longer just friends. Someone’s heart might get broken (and this may not be either of you). Your reputation might suffer. If you become prolific you’ll eventually gain the tag of ‘slag’ which should be as equally off-putting to women as it is to men regarding the opposite sex. This is enough to put me off this kind of behaviour and instead wait for the right girl to come along who wants more than this. Making love is amazing, incredibly special and is not just about basic pleasure. It’s not something to do to impress your mates and make you feel like a bigger person. In reality sex is a tiny part of any relationship. Never forget the miracle of masturbation for relieving those frustrations. It is the safest orgasm around…
‘Girls should be treated as sexual objects’ is the third mantra. What is surprising is that many girls know this and play up to it. There are, of course, girls who also behave like ‘lads’. The reasons for ‘ladettes’ behaving like this are exactly the same as their male counterparts. So, who is to blame? Men or women? This debate rages in various different forms on daytime TV everyday. “Who is to blame for the way my life is turning out? Who is the enemy? Aaaarghhhh, someone’s trying to get me, trying to fuck up my life!” Excellent - paranoia - the mainstay of a totalitarian government. Keep the masses confused and scared and we have control of them. Lets keep them occupied with sports and cheap titillation while we steal oil.
To those who practice lad culture – both men and women – I say this: its time to mature and evolve. We really all want a healthy, strong relationship with someone we love. When there are people who go around trying to fuck anything that comes near them without thinking of the consequences of their actions we have a problem. Break free of your shackles and be your true self. Ignore the shit that is fed to you by the media and make this your own world.
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